When it comes to your sex drive, the world is truly your oyster. It can be a wonderful way for you to understand what works for you, what are your no-nos and the things you desire in order to have fulfilling, sensual experiences.
It’s a myth that your intimate desires and preferences can only be explored with a partner. While there is a lot to learn, the best way to identify your needs is through self-exploration.
It can be a bit embarrassing, maybe even confusing. But if you look at it objectively, understanding your body is the first step to experiencing sexual pleasure in your romantic rendevous. Because no two people perceive pleasure in the same way.
Here are some ways in which you can explore your intimate desires without any judgement or pressure:
1. Embrace your body
This is a great place to start! A lot of us are conditioned or struggle with looking at ourselves naked. Sometimes, it’s conditional, while other times, it comes from a place of insecurity about our imperfections. If you want to have a healthier sex life, it’s essential to nurture the most important relationship in life: the one with yourself.
Take some time to look at your own body, appreciating the features that make you unique. When you change the narrative about your imperfections, you’ll start getting in touch with yourself and bridging the gap to inherent intimacy.
2. Set aside some ‘Me’ Time
Masturbation is a wonderful way to build a holistic connection with your body. From seeing what turns you on to finding ways to get you in the mood, it really helps in de-stressing, reducing intimate discomfort and feeling happier overall.
As a rough guide, you can try to understand where you like to be touched, how your body responds to different kinds of sensations or if you have specific thoughts that excite you.
Masturbation not only is a discreet way to understand your sensual side but also to find out your pleasurable spots in a discreet way. With sexual wellness products like lube and massage oils, you’re in for a fun evening just with yourself!
3. Read Erotic Literature
It’s true when they say that the brain is the largest sexual organ. Stimulating your mind through erotic novels or audio pornography can serve as a great libido-booster. If you want to understand your needs, erotic literature is a great place to start. The structure of erotic stories is designed to help you pace yourself and read sexual content from a liberal, evolved perspective. And, the genres are as diverse as can be from romance to danger to sensual. So pick your novella and start exploring!
4. Don’t let taboos dictate your needs
Cultural taboos often restrict you from exploring your limits with your sexuality. From religion to pre-marital sex, it’s difficult to quantify all taboos. Some things will be hanging along the line, but other sexual fantasies are more flexible.
So, open your mind to different thoughts and sexual acts that excite you and see if you can add them to your list of turn-ons. Who knows, it may just intensify your sex drive and elevate experiences with your partners or yourself.
5. Start talking to your partner
Communication is key when it comes to sex, so it’s time to start talking. Whether you have done some self-exploration or not, open the channel of communication with your partner about what you like, what you don’t like and what you’re willing to experiment with.
At the same time, establish clear boundaries and safe words to ensure safety and consent for all the parties involved. You can avoid a lot of miscommunication and intimate discomfort when you explore your limits and desires together. It may be awkward, but it can help avoid a lot of unpleasantness.
6. Explore at your own pace
This inherent relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes, self-exploration can be a bit overwhelming or addictive. It’s absolutely normal to want to take it slow and try things repeatedly before making a decision. If toys or vibrators are making it into your me time, make sure you give yourself time to think back and understand your feelings about them.
Erotic content consumption too can be like going down a rabbit hole, so try to see what works and what doesn’t for you. Your sensual side is just a part of you - and it’s okay to be a work-in-progress about it.
7. Focus on your wellbeing
Sensuality isn’t just about sex. It’s about respecting your body, the miracles it can do and taking care of it as well. So try creating that intimate bond with yourself through self-caring acts like meditation, skincare routines or exercise.
The more confident and at peace you are, the more in touch you’ll be with your bodily needs and your intimate energy.
8. A relaxing massage
Massages are a great way to de-stress. If you’re a little wound up about your sexual preferences, start by decompressing.
Set aside an evening with the perfect atmosphere to relax. With candles, sensual lighting and perfect essence, plan it out like the perfect date with yourself.
Lay a towel out on the bed, play some jazz music and gently help your body feel at ease through pressured or light massage. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, so just get started.
9. Write down your thoughts
After taking the ride through your self-exploration journey, start putting it down on paper. Journaling serves as a great outlet for your thoughts and letting go of your hesitations. Channel your inner subconscious and see where your thoughts take you. Who knows, you might even come across a thought that could be the ultimate fantasy for you.
10. Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself
From not being too sexual to being a sexual deviant, there’s a lot of pressure to get it right. You might be new to this or have been exploring with a partner, but it’s essential that you don’t try to challenge your intuition.
You may like being intimate or you may not. And both of those things are just fine. Because they make you you.
So don’t judge yourself and just have fun.
